I have a very exciting experience to share that I think will totally shift how you think about fear, because let’s face it – fear and our mindset control more of our health and the choices we make than we ever give it credit for.
Here is a picture of me talking on stage… (I promise it’s me with the mic)
This past week I was in New York City for a holistic entrepreneurs conference. You may have remembered I went to a similar conference a year ago in San Diego, but THIS time it was different. Yes, I learned a ton of new information, networked and met amazing beautiful people, and honed my coaching skills further so that I can seriously unlock what is keeping people stuck and unlock it FAST (3 private coaching sessions this week with clients sending an email that said “wow! That was an incredible session. I never knew what was underneath all of this!”).
But what was different for this conference is that I was highlighted as a nutrition and lifestyle coach on a Spotlight panel (only 6 women) in front of almost 500 people! I was stoked. I was nervous. I was happy. I was freaking out.
I teach classes all the time (60 people and up) and can socialize with the best of them… but me, in front of that many people, being real and raw with my business, passions, growth, and…eeeek, money!?!? I freaked. Believe me, so many thoughts in my mind raced through on how I could get out of it or ways that maybe they wouldn’t want me up there any more. Haha, crazy, I know, right?
Before I went on stage, I was thinking that the fear and anxiety must just be that I am nervous and afraid. That’s it, right?
Or was it more? I was nervous of saying the wrong thing, looking funny on the jumbo-tron screens, not making sense, or worse… people thinking what I am SO passionate about isn’t really important but rather stupid.
Shortly before GO-time, I talked with 2 people and they reminded me that fear and nervousness are just a sign that it is really important to me, which it was, AND that I needed to get back in my zone of my purpose, passions, and truth (with their gentle guiding support). This took me out of the picture and put the focus on what the outcome and transformation is for everyone else.
So when I was in that place of thinking and could follow the sequence I share below, I realized what I really was afraid of wasn’t the stage and bright lights or that large of a group of people all staring at me, what it boiled down to was…
I was afraid I wasn’t going to be authentic or if I was authentic people wouldn’t want it, they wouldn’t want me and the message I was trying to share.
This form of fear, anxiousness, and desire to bail-out or not even try, can show its face in a number of different ways.
Let me ask you this…
- Have you wanted to apply for a new job, degree program, or ask for a raise but fear or doubt kept you from it?
- Have you found yourself ready to commit to a healthier way of living but you fear that you wouldn’t be able to follow through? Or worse yet, what if you follow through and nothing changes for you and you are stuck in the body and mental cycle forever?
- Have you found yourself wishing and hoping for mister right, or even the mister right-now, but fear that you will never have that out of the park romance?
- Have you ever felt afraid that you will never have close relationships or a small group of connected friends to journey through life with you?
- Have you ever feared that maybe you just aren’t meant to have great amazing things happen to you?
- Have you ever feared bringing a subject up to your bf, husband, significant other, etc. in fear of how they will respond to you?
Fear keeps us from achieving a life that not only we dream of but a life that is true and exactly what we were destined for… iiiiiif we don’t go and mess it up with our blasted fears along the way.
Now, ask yourself, is it really the fear? Oooor, is it what is behind the fear?
We get so wound up in fearing fear or worried about being worried or nervous that we are going to get nervous, that we forget to let ourselves just feel the emotions and understand ourselves.
What would open up for you in your life if you had no fear? Try this…
1. Identify what is it you are truly fearful of.
- Is it just getting on stage OR is it how that experience will change your business/personal life?
- Is it you’re afraid you won’t be able to lose the weight? OR is it that you’re afraid that you don’t know who you will be once you are in a different body and don’t know how people will respond to you (ie, bff or sister and you’ll be out of the tribe OR men will start to pay a lot more attention to you)?
- Is it that you are afraid of asking for a raise? OR is it that you are afraid the response and how it effect your self-worth?
2. Once you’ve identified what it truly is… simply breathe into it (figuratively and literally). As author Gay Hendricks states, “Fear is excitement without breath.” Once we breathe into it, we release the hold fear has on us. (Pretty awesome, huh?)
3. Find one person who you can continually ask for radical honesty. What this means is that this person will tell you the truth on if you are in alignment with your values as well as radical honesty on what the underlying issues may be.
This issue is one of the biggest stumbling blocks I work on with women and once we start to understand ourselves, breathe into the emotions, and support/hold them accountable, doors start to open that you never thought possible, such as…
- growing your business
- automatically getting a raise at work
- the magical mister who finally walks into your life
- your family relationships start to heal
- your body automatically gravitates towards its sweet spot for weight (50 pounds lighter, hello??) and health (even “incurable” dis-eases healed)
- support circle of unbelievable people appears
Each one of these results are literally real life examples from my life and other women I have worked with.
You can have the life you dreamed of. The question is… what are you fearful of and are you ready to breathe into it? If so, what do you need to get you there? Support? Accountability? A system? Find what you need and breathe into it.
Simple, love. Let it be simple.