I’ll be the first to admit. Friendships are an incredibly important part in a happy life… but I’m not the best at maintaining communication with my friends (even best friends).
I’m not a fan of talking on the phone.
Email just doesn’t do our relationship justice.
And I like to experience our deep connection in the flesh (even if that is every 3 years).
BUT one thing I am great at in a friendship is holding people to their best self, their desires, and their possibility.
In fact, in college, one of my now best friends was so shy that she had never ordered pizza by phone for delivery. It made her nervous. My natural reaction…it was time to bust her shell. I decided we weren’t having pizza that night unless SHE made the call. We ate pizza. :) She also became a youth group leader and an extremely outgoing confident woman.
This “best life” aspect of who I am also leads me to blunt and say “I can’t sit by and watch you do this” A LOT.
Not because I’m “right,” not because I like to tell people what to do, but because I truly care about you, your dreams, and your ALIVEness in life… it’s contagious, ya know?
In the last couple of weeks I’ve had some really blunt conversations.
Because…like spiders making your skin crawl, sitting by and watching people do certain things – things that stifle your brilliance, smother your aliveness, squash your self-care and self-love – that makes my skin crawl.
- I couldn’t sit by and watch a friend count calories, torture her mind and body, and feel the life being sucked out of her by “discipline” and tedious control. Why? Because I took that road and it felt like hell. I’m more than happy to share my mistakes so you don’t have to repeat them. What she did: signed up for the 21-day REset cleanse to get back in tune with her body not her counting/depriving skills.
- I couldn’t sit by and watch a friend sabotage herself by eating, drinking, and doing the exact things she has desired to stop doing for months. Why? Because I’ve been stuck in the rut of self-sabotage and desperately needed someone to say – “Hey, you’re better than that. I’ve got you. Let’s go.” What she did: Said you’re right. Got back on the path she wanted and said thank you for being the friend that most people aren’t.
- I couldn’t sit by and watch a friend stay in a job that wasn’t serving her creative self. Why? Because I did that and each day a little piece of my brilliance, my contagious joy, my LIFE was diminished. What she did: Put in her 2-week notice and leaped into her own business (she’s soaring by the way).
- I couldn’t sit by and watch a friend numb out with mindless time-fillers instead of learning, growing, and “blowing shit up” in his career and achievement in life. Why? Because we all need someone to believe in us and give us the permission to change the world (or just the lives of people around us). What he did: Downloaded podcasts to start learning about real estate. P.S. So jazzed he can’t stop talking about it.
So my question to you…
If we were best friends going on a walk together, and I felt that skin crawling urge coming on to say something because I couldn’t sit by and watch you do “this”. What would your “this” be?
And if I was sharing our conversation and story, what would your “what she did:” statement say? (i.e. What are you going to actually do about it?)
- Complaining about your body?
- Frustrated by your career?
- Lonely in your marriage?
- Bored with your hobbies (or lack thereof)?
- Tired of the crap you are eating?
In the comments below I’d love to know your “this” and your “what she did:”.
If you’re frustrated about your body, eating habits, low energy, cravings, and lack of planning around how you are nourishing your body, we have only 4 spots left in the autumn group 21-day REset Cleanse. Let your “what she did:” be something that truly changes lives – starting with yours. Registration closes tomorrow.
Here’s to letting me be blunt with you.