How was your Christmas? My December has been so relaxing, rejuvenating, and joy-filled. The last couple of years I overbooked myself in December, so this year I committed to savoring the holiday season and being present and…I accomplished it. So much love, gratitude, and action heroes (that’s my nephew in his new superhero outfit… pretty awesome, right?).
New Years Eve is just a couple days away. Do you make resolutions or intentions for the coming year? If you do, do you keep them?
Last year I shared a ritual I do every year around New Years Eve time. You can find that article here.
While I still do this ritual, over the past year, how I pursue those goals and intentions, make to-do lists, and even approach my relationships has dramatically shifted as one of my favorite mentors, Danielle LaPorte, has opened my eyes with her insights on desires, feelings, and authenticity.
For years, I have been the queen of taking action, making to-do lists and crossing them off, and achieving. Success. Achieving. Success. Achieving.
But this past year or two, I started to get an icky feeling. I was accomplishing my “intentions” and to-do lists but I felt off. It was like I wasn’t really getting what I wanted… and yet I couldn’t put my finger on what I really did want (catch 22, right?).
Making it brutal to create my check-lists, let alone actually do the items on my list. I was motivated… but I wasn’t inspired (2 very different things, I’ve learned).
After guidance from Ms. LaPorte, I’m starting to sing a different tune and it.feels.so.good. So free. So me. And I WANT to follow through and implement. I am inspired to.
So how did I get to that spot?
What the lovely Ms. LaPorte has taught me is that…
“Everything we do is driven by a desire to feel a certain way.”
If we do/accomplish/obtain something and we don’t feel how we thought we were going to feel, we may be disappointed, sad, lost, confused, off, or just plain blah and not know why. Leaving us stuck, unmotivated, and uninspired…. thinking we suck and have no will power.
We may think…I got the car, the promotion, the body weight/shape, the engagement ring, etc. and I still feel the same or worse. What gives?
We have to have goals with soul (i.e. core feelings & true desires).
Loved. Feminine. Connected. Purposeful. Important.
Powerful. Authentic. Confident. Secure. Happy. Passionate.
Successful. Relaxed. Carefree. Beautiful. Grateful. Alive.
Accomplished. Helpful. Caring. Generous. Innovative. Appreciated.
Vulnerable. Luxurious. Radiant. Content. Present. Centered.
As we start creating goals and intentions for 2013 – we rarely list the above feelings as our actual goals, intentions, or resolutions. We list things like… eat healthier, get more sleep, quit smoking/drinking soda/Starbucks, go the gym more, take more vacations, etc.
While all of these may be something you do really want to do, until you uncover your true desired feelings and make sure those are in alignment with to-dos and goals – you’ll never truly get “there”.
This applies to every aspect of life.
As you are reaching for a latte, cupcake, or French fry… are those foods going to make you feel the way you truly desire to feel during and after? Empowered? Healthy? Strong? Feminine? Indulgent?
When you choose your outfit in the morning… your driving/walking/biking route to work… the music you listen to… the groceries you buy…the friends you hang out with…how you spend your free time…
What can you do each day to make yourself feel more of your core desired feelings? (this is really what you want)
Behind every desire is a feeling and this will lead you to understanding yourself, loving yourself, and living authentically. Living full out.
To get more of this core desired feelings goodness with Ms. LaPorte, I recommend you use her truly AMAZING book and workbook combo, called The Desire Map available online (just released this month!). Her wisdom, musings, and books continue to change (daily) how I approach my business, health, and life. Click here for more info on Danielle, her projects, and her goods. I cannot recommend her enough.
Quote from The Desire Map:
Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame,
or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that
allows us to embrace life fully.
-Mark Epstein, Open to Desire
To finding & following your true desires and feelings.