Romance taken a back seat for you?

istock_FarmersMarketFlowersDo you ever wish you had more romance in your life? Have you ever waited around for someone else to romance you?

Hang with me…romance, career, adventure, relationships, finances, etc., ALL impact how we feel in our bodies and lives – and our ability to really LIVE. We can’t address just food/nutrition – it doesn’t work that way, sorry sweets.

Confession: I know I wish I had more Romance at times and in the past I used to be terrible about how to go about getting it. Eli (hubbs) can vouch for this. I’d complain about not having enough romance or him not doing certain things, and then when he’d do those certain things I had just complained I had wanted… I would complain about something else. Poor guy. :) Truth is, I didn’t really know what I wanted, I just knew I wanted to FEEL romance. What I hadn’t realized yet is that romance doesn’t have to be like a Disney story. It can be and is so much more.

Romance – when experienced and felt in the way I desire – makes me come a little more alive, makes me think about food a little less, makes me take care of myself a little more, makes me excited to workout and sweat my hot bod, and makes me live a little more in the present moment. All things I strive for and thrive on.

I want you to get this goodness too – and beyond.

I wish there was a magic formula, but the problem/beauty of it/communication breakdown is… everyone’s definition of and recipe for romance is different. 

 **Spoiler alert** – awesomesauce free romance tool below from an
incredible lady who helps women foster romance and adventure in lives every day.

Textbook definition of Romance:

  • A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
  • A love affair.
  • A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something.
  • A spirit of or inclination for adventure, excitement, or mystery.
  • A mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something adventurous, heroic, or strangely beautiful.

My definition/recipe for Romance: (took me 10+ years to figure out): a little (or big) dash of…

  • adventure
  • joy
  • whimsy
  • passion
  • excitement
  • mystery
  • freedom
  • presence
  • and some sparkle, ruffles, giggles, and glitter for good measure.

What I love about all of these ingredients…they aren’t dependent on another person, but pieces that I can add to my life that make me romance myself. And, if another person adds them in – they can romance me too.

The “so what?” for you:

  1. Once we figure out what Romance means to you…
  2. and utilize a couple tools to uncover and cultivate it (see below)…
  3. You can quit complaining about your lack of romance to you friends or significant other, stop living in the world of Ground Hog Day (stuck in the same routine, mind trap, challenges, and never getting out to really experience life…over and over again), and stop waiting for someone to romance you. You can LIVE a little more.

 

5 Tools to Help You Uncover & Cultivate Romance:

Single or In a Relationship:

1. Romance & Adventure Idea Generator from Morgan Day Cecil. Can’t recommend this lady or her work enough. Absolutely eye opening for me and I research, teach, and absorb this stuff daily!

Image

2.  Take Responsibility. Don’t wait for “mister right” to come along or for your own mister to take action – take responsibility and create the romance and life you desire. You want flowers? Date night? Adventure? Weekend getaway or road trip? You plan it, buy it, or do it – with yourself, your friends, or your significant other.

We can wallow and say, “but I want him to plan it,” or “when I finally find the right guy, then…” But reality is the only thing you are left with is wallow and no flowers, adventure, date night, or getaway. I’ll take the responsibility and enjoy myself over that wallow any day. 

In a Relationship:

3. Recreate the butterfly effect. I got this idea from Jo at A Cup of Jo. Instead of getting ready together at home for a date night…passing the deodorant stick to each other, squeezing into some tight jeans as you lay on the bed rolling side to side to get them up (looks hot, no?), and going from drowned rat coming out of the shower to bombshell (no mystery if you get to see the whole process)…. Set the date ahead of time. Let yourself get ready at home without him, swipe on some hot red lipstick and sensational perfume, and meet him AT the restaurant, park, movie, bar, boat ride, etc. Let those stomach butterflies come to life again as you spot each other and let the sizzle/nervousness be reignited.

4. Fire Starter Sizzle Jar. Simply a jar with tons of ideas for dates – free, under $30, and over $30 – that you can randomly pick when the creative romance juices aren’t flowing. Eli and I created one of these bad boys about a year ago. Sometimes it’s not that the desire or effort isn’t there, sometimes if you’ve been together a while the new ideas just don’t flow as easily.

The Remedy: Grab a semi-large jar/bowl, 3 pieces colored paper (3 different colors), 2 pens, and scissors. Designate each piece of paper (3 different colors) for the different costs of the date ideas – example: green = free, blue = under $30, and grey = over $30. For 10-15 minutes, sit down together and simply brainstorm ideas that fit into those 3 cost categories, writing each idea on the color corresponding piece of paper (writing in a straight line across is easiest for cutting later).  Sky is the limit – don’t restrain yourself. Write down the “stupid” ideas – they are usually the best. Then cut each date idea into separate strips of paper. Add all ideas to the jar and the next time you don’t know what to do, or the romance isn’t flowing, or you just need an idea within a certain budget – grab the jar, pick a random piece, and GO DO IT.

5. Three questions to open up communication for what you DO want. (yes, this takes you digging in and uncovering what you really want) Ask these questions of your partner and have your partner ask these questions of you weekly.

  • How did you feel loved this past week?
  • How would you feel most loved, pursued, and romanced in the days ahead?
  • How can I support your desires/dreams this week?

Bottom line: Romance is a freaking fire igniter to loving your life and your body. We all go through waves of feeling the fizzle. And yes, it is work to uncover what it really means to you and to grow it (in a relationship or on your own), but it is one helluva fight that is worthwhile and can absolutely be won. 

Take Action: Download the free guide above and try just one of these ideas. Let me know which one strikes your fancy.

Romance your life, watch your food habits change…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *